SUCKS!!!
Now this may all be over dramatic and all for not because it may end up being just fine. However, right now I need to release some of this before I go crazy.
We have individual health insurance coverage because both my husband and I both work for companies that are too small to have employer health coverage. So we are forced to be at the mercy of the insurance companies. Now for the longest time I was denied coverage because I was too FAT. Sure the insurance companies called it something a lot nicer sounding, but being to fat is what it meant. Well I lose some weight and finally get into a better category with the insurance company, not the best category, but right below the best category.
Well our insurance was going up again and so we talked with our insurance broker about moving to a new policy with the same company where we would all be back on the same policy just with a higher deductible. So we filled out new apps and sent them in. I just got a call from the medical team asking about not only sleep apnea (which I don't have) and my PCOS. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So I was freaking out. I looked on some websites to see if I could get denied for having PCOS and some of them said yes . . . I can't take it! I will be devistated if I get dropped. We have been paying for maternity coverage for well over a year now and now I worry that I won't be able to get health insurance much less maternity coverage. I won't know anything until I hear from the insurance company, but right now I am freaking out.
What I am really upset about is that I did this to myself. I'm overweight because of me. I created this problem and I feel like I will never be on the other side of it. All I want to do right now is binge . . . . but then I realize . . . THAT IS WHAT PUT ME HERE TO BEGIN WITH!!!! So I will be going out to eat tonight with friends and I WILL make the smart food choice just like I planned because the only way to change is to do better.
I. WILL. DO. BETTER. I am not the same girl who has to run to food when she's upset. I'm not the same girl who overeats to shut out all the pain. I'm the girl taking control of her own life for once and taking action.
2 comments:
UGH. That stinks about the insurance.
Don't ever think that you are the cause of your PCOS though. Just b/c we're larger doesn't mean WE brought this condition on to ourselves. There are plenty of thin cysters that go through the exact same problems.
**HUGS** I really hope everything works out.
Thanks for the reminder Lisa! It's hard sometimes to get the guilt feelings to go away. I'll let you know how the insurance thing goes.
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